band drama....if the music isnt worth the drama or.....

[konstantine RK]

I have issues with my singer. My singer is a scott stapp type class 10 megalomaniac who doesn't share the work of a band. he never helps with the set up or tear down at shows, he will criticize guitarists, bassists and drummers on how to play their instruments when a mistake is made. not to mention he does not pay for anything in the band and is a big violent guy who twice tried to goad me to fight. plus he is involved in a affair with another singer from a girl band and her ex boyfriend plants lovely MB bombs about my band all the time because my singer is seperated.

he is a great singer but a **** front man and we are a coverband. Also the other guitarist is a great bandmember but is too finnicky on others but in a nicer way. he also is one of those guys that could learn any lead but doesn't play rhythm that well. I am a better player than he is but i am often chastized for playing guitar fills where the band drops out of the song.

the drama is killing me but the momentum is above average. the Drummer is great and the bassist is my brother whom the other guitarist wants to fire because this is one of those bands that "plays like the record"

would you put up with all this just to play your guitar?

 

[Griz]

I've put up with worse. :mrgreen: It all depends on how bad you need the money, how soon you believe you could do better and how extensive quitting or staying is going to affect your life as well as those close to you. For instance, you may want to stay so your brother keeps his gig. Or you may want to stay so you can give the singer food poisoning. All depends on your perspective. Each situation is different and each action will create reactions. Good to get a rant in though. Cheer up and practice your guitar... or your singing!

 

[konstantine RK]

food poisoning! what a great idea!

lol :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[carlsoti]

Good singers are a dime a dozen in Chicago. Lose the drama. I'm just guessing, but I don't figure a guy with an attitude like that is helping set up gigs and make industry contacts. If you happen to be in the (far) NW suburbs (McHenry county area), I can put you in contact w/ my cousin. He's got a pretty good voice. He was offered a half-assed studio gig by Sun, but couldn't do it, due to "family issues" he was having way back when. In fact, I may be able to dig up some old contacts and get you the number of the girl I used to know that work for Sun in their office in Chicago. Lemme ask around.

 

[MrMarkIII]

As that great philosopher, E. Merman, so eloquently put it:
"There's no business like show business!"
Great rant! Hope it was cathartic.
It's the never-ending conundrum of being in a band with (yuk!) other people.
Why can't they just effing behave!? Why can't they see that the music is the important thing, not all this other high-school BS.
Or at least do things my way, which is, of course, the right way.
Unfortunately, insecure, neurotic, and psychotic folks insist on bringing their various diseases along with them when they enter into the multi-partner marriage known as being-in-a-band.
I find the best policy is to buy a house with a large back yard, so there's lots of room to hide the bodies.

 

[MrMarkIII]

Meet "Mr. Shovel", my head counselor.

 

[konstantine RK]

Ok reporting back on the situation....I cant leave this band, we have turned some momentum and the ball is rolling. The singer came to me onstage and asked if we could put our differences aside and have a great show.

I said to him that if he would start getting his hands dirty with the band, then I would stop my drama immediately.

Anyhow, we took a break off of rehearsing and came back with a fun (but sloppy) show. We are having a band meeting and it wont be pretty but at least I will have a place to share my crow with the singer.

 

[mikey383]

I was in a band that had more drama than daytime television. If I tried to confide in someone about a problem, they would run and tell the other members of the band; the singer would cancel practice to watch football games; the other guitarist would come up with a riff that we all were digging, so we would play it through a few times, then he would decide he didn't want to play it; Comments were made about how work shouldn't affect practice, it should be 80% band - 20% family, etc.

To top it all off, the other guitarist's wife was "managing" the band. Shows would get booked without discussing it among the members. We were wanting to record a CD, and they got wind of a studio that had a "label" that was looking to sign bands, so the decision was made to record there without discussing it with everyone. When I called to tell them my concerns about it, (not a good deal, sound quality, etc.) I got my head ripped off, while she was screaming at me in the background at the top of her lungs.

I ended up telling them to stuff it right after that little fiasco.

I'm not dealing with someone with "Yoko Syndrome"

 

[DeFrag]

This is an easy one!

Fire him or go your own way.

 

[DaveBorn2Rock]

I have issues with my singer. My singer is a scott stapp type class 10 megalomaniac who doesn't share the work of a band.

At least he doesn't SOUND like Scott Stapp..... or does he? If he does that's an instant deal breaker :lol:
Singer's are pretty expendable I feel if he was the only problem, problems with the other guitarist are another issue though.
Still who knows maybe with another singers the other guitarist would chill out more... I know I'm not really being too helpful but I feel for you. I loved my last band, but I was the only person who even KNEW HOW to set stuff up.... that was fun...

 

[Sixstringpsycho]

I have had some serious band drama as most of us have had, egos, egos,egos, affairs, egos. it really does get old but at age 28 with a family and career I say IMO that nothing is worth killing the fun of music, sure bands will argue and fight but flat out stupid egotistical drama is not worth anything to me. I had a great singer sleeping with the bass players Fiancee fight once and that day i decided i will never deal with idiots again. My vote is throw down the concerns and if he doesn't man up and fix it then go solo.

 

[konstantine RK]

I have read all the replies.... what happened after the fact is we did not rehearse for a while because I would not allow the guy into my house then we had a death in the family and then Christmas. So its been 2 shows with no rehearsal, band is not tight and there will be some talking to the guy to knock off the bullshit. He is not a smart person but the guy is mega talented at the vocals....

He will get his drubbing today and Ill report more about it later

 

[konstantine RK]

Digging up the post

what ended up happening was after a volatile few months we had a great show then the other guitarist had to quit because of the singer... The drummer turned out to be a douchebag and he forced his old guitarist on the band and they talked the moron singer into firing my brother and I. They also stole the myspace site and my personal photobucket account.
Then when we made our statement to the mailing list the drummer went on a personal attack Internet style that lasted from April 09 to oct 09. So never hire a cop named Paul if you live in illinois.

"Soulkiss" after it's founders were fired lasted 6 months and then the singer quit and what was poetic justice was that he was harrased by the crazy cop too. Now of course the singer got a better gig after all ... With a "rubber" reunion.

Anyhow after being threatened with arrest, lawsuits and physical confrontations we moved on... We have a new band and it's better music, more talent and just a lot less drama.


Remember if you hire a drummer named Paul who happens to be a cop, he us 100% psycho
I had to fake an apology just so he would leave my family alone and I'm no coward but you do what an adult has to... Be responsible.

 

[cvansickle]

Split, take the drummer and your brother with you, and start a new project. Singers are a dime a dozen.

 

[fishyfishfish]

My new rule is: First sign of BS, I quit.
As for the "Cop" drummer, Cops have supervisors that love to hear about officers defacing the their department with less than professional behavior. A complaint filed against an officer will stay in his/her jacket forever, and is the first thing looked at when being promoted. Something to consider.

 

[LerxstLee]

I have been very lucky. We have a three piece band that uses sequencing for the keyboards, samples, and the light changes. We have played over eighteen years and continue. I have been in five or six bands in my life. One lasted
three years, and the others simple months. Where I live ever since the drinking age changed and DWI has become so strict, I can't image playing for the money, it just is not there like it was in the '80s and '90s. If I cannot enjoy the
music and the people I am playing with, I will play at home or jam with some friends. I have had little tolerence for
people with the "greater than thou" and "without me you are nothing" attitudes. Again, I have been lucky, and won't play
if it is a headache. There is always somebody to replace me, and someone to replace others, it might not be a quick easy
fix, but I would practice while I found the right players to make great band.
/cheers

 

[surferdeac]

I guess it all just depends. If you feel you have nothing to fall back on (financially to make a living than i really cant give you the honest advice that I think you deserve to find). I was in a band at one point, but luckily foresaw the DRAMA that eventually came to fruition (plus i made music my obsessive hobby and not my job ). Playing music with other people (in your case your band) should bring about positive emotion fire your passion to be honest and open with whomever your playing with. If your in it for the money than that is fine too (most cover Bands are), but if your not happy doing what you love to do, playing the guitar, than your playing and SOUL will suffer. If you are constantly making sacrifices to make the band work, and you don't feel its being reciprocated chances are it is not and you don't deserve to be in that type of situation especially If you really LOVE playing music.

IMO leave the drama play with people who can inspire you to play and whom you can make better as well as people that can make you better as a player, musician, and friend 8) .

 

[toneguy86]

I have issues with my singer. My singer is a scott stapp type class 10 megalomaniac who doesn't share the work of a band. he never helps with the set up or tear down at shows, he will criticize guitarists, bassists and drummers on how to play their instruments when a mistake is made. not to mention he does not pay for anything in the band and is a big violent guy who twice tried to goad me to fight. plus he is involved in a affair with another singer from a girl band and her ex boyfriend plants lovely MB bombs about my band all the time because my singer is seperated.

he is a great singer but a sh!t front man and we are a coverband. Also the other guitarist is a great bandmember but is too finnicky on others but in a nicer way. he also is one of those guys that could learn any lead but doesn't play rhythm that well. I am a better player than he is but i am often chastized for playing guitar fills where the band drops out of the song.

the drama is killing me but the momentum is above average. the Drummer is great and the bassist is my brother whom the other guitarist wants to fire because this is one of those bands that "plays like the record"

would you put up with all this just to play your guitar?

In short...no. Sounds like you have the makings of another band--your brother and the drummer. Go for it. Nothing is worth that kind of headache and I promise you will regret it if you don't try and WILL regret it if you do nothing. I have been in more situations like that then I can count. Most recently it was with a female singer in my band. I fired her--but probably not as early as I should have. Before that I was a hired sideman for a band with more BS and miscommuication then I have ever seen. I stuck it out because the money was good but in the end it imploded anyway. What I did do was waste time on a losing venture that I could have put into my current band (that includes my wife on bass). Take the leap!

Mark

 

[boogieslayer]

This is an easy one!

Fire him or go your own way.

my thought exactly !

no douchebag is worth the aggravation

 

[xrisj]

Chemistry is everything. Period. Dump the dipshit singer, but do it live on stage at the end of a gig... :twisted: then post it to youtube.