I have come full circle

[brh34]

Last year I made a decision that seemed prudent for my life situation. Mid 30s, a demanding career, 3 wonderful children (12, 6 and 4, all boys), a wife who has her own career that is very demanding and not an ounce of free time. In my basement collecting dust were:

3 Les Pauls (Standards)
Triple Ch. Dual Rec
4x12 Rec Cab
2x12 Rec Cab
Wireless
Pedals
and so on...

I sold it all. I kept an acoustic to mess around on, but all of my electric gear was sold. Anyhow, long story short...bad move!

I just recently purchased a Blackface 2 Ch. Dual Rec. of which was dated a 1992 with the help of some members of the forum in another post. Also purchased was a used LP Classic (previously owned one of these...the 500T in the bridge is a pretty beefy P/U), and a used 4x12 Rec cab (not sure, but it looks to be older as well). It all sounds very amazing. I am still experimenting with the settings on the amp, but enjoying every moment of it. I guess among this rambling I should come to a point. I used to live for playing music...bands, gigs, writing, etc. I don't have the time for that life anymore, but it appears that I am not going to be able to shake it all together either. Balance is the key, and I am glad to have come full circle.

 

[djw]

Wow, dude. This is a really interesting and (for some of us) timely post. I'm, heh, putting my kids to bed right now, but I want to elaborate on this. Thanks for sharing!

 

[haymez]

12 = the age most kids start playing their first guitar
18 = the age most kids start playing seriously
24 = the age most kids get married :shock:
30 = the age most kids start selling their gear and kicking it with the acoustic
36 = the age most kids can afford good gear and start sound-proofing part of their basement :twisted:

...back to sound-proofing the basement :mrgreen:

 

[abe]

I am in the same boat (mid 30's, 3 kids, career). What worked out very well for me was we started a company band, and we have been playing out for 4 years now. We reherse 1-2x per month, and play out an avarage of once per month or as time allows.

Our company allows us to reherse in old warehouse space and we can use it any time. Everyone in the band has a family and travels for business, and does it strictly for fun...

You can check out our sites at:

www.rivermud.com
www.myspace.com/rivermud

The only boogie recording is the video, but you can't really hear anything becuase the audio isn't very good....

 

[AustinK]

30 = the age most kids start selling their gear and kicking it with the acoustic

Never :twisted:

 

[djw]

12 = the age most kids start playing their first guitar
18 = the age most kids start playing seriously
24 = the age most kids get married :shock:
30 = the age most kids start selling their gear and kicking it with the acoustic
36 = the age most kids can afford good gear and start sound-proofing part of their basement :twisted:

...back to sound-proofing the basement :mrgreen:

Hilarious. And is it an accident that the gaps are all 6's? :twisted:

It's kind of trippy that in the last couple of days we had that terrible thread about the guy whose soon-to-be-ex trashed his gear; and almost completely opposite is this rather frank and simple acknowledgment of how this whole aging thing screws around with us.

****, my story is so frigging long and complicated and, man, I'd just completed constructing a 12'x18' soundproofed and air-conditioned room in our dream house when the situation went all sideways and... well, there isn't room for the tale here. Suffice it to say that, boys, I think I really took one for the team last year for what it was worth. 13 years, down the tubes.

But anyway, gear & career. I'm glad to say that I kept my prized stuff after my "pro" career went down. I'll probably write a whole clause into my last will & testament about who gets my JCM800, and I hung onto my dream amp from childhood, that old Deluxe Reverb in my sig. None of my old working guitars 'cept that LP Special are really worth mentioning, but I kept them anyway. (Well, actually, I do still have my Gibson Sonex 180, autographed by Gang of Four from when we toured with them in the mid-90s)

I kept it all except for the backup/duplicate items (don't really need 2 JCMs, don't need 2 Sonexes). But for 4 years they collected major dust while my daughter grew up a little. Which was fine at the time, since I was pretty bitter about music anyway... until I realized I was slowly losing my mind.

It takes a certain amount of self-image readjustment for us former hard rockers to concede that, due to family and mortgages and the day job that you can almost admit you like, our best bet for getting semi-regular shows might involve playing the, cough cough, occasional cover. In my case I've managed to maintain an illusion of cool (for myself) by making it a Tribute Band, as opposed to a Cover Band: we only play Pretenders, and furthermore we only play songs from the first 2 1/2 albums. I AM James Honeyman Scott. And of course, that Marshall comes in very handy for this.

As does the Gold Top, something that I decided, upon turning 40, was something that I deserved. I knew it would look great on me, and I knew it was going to make me feel good. What I didn't know was what it was like to suddenly be in possession of a real guitar, a REAL one. It changes everything. All those years of playing the living **** out of crappy guitars just got put into the teeny perspective that it deserved. Dues, yes, lots, years of dues paid on high-output pups, baseball bat necks and bad tuning. It was like suddenly being given ears with which to hear one's own voice.

The timing of the purchase, however, apparently contributed to the abovementioned meltdown... which is strange, because I don't consider myself as having either been one of those guys who compulsively hurls his every paycheck at Guitar Center, or married to the kind of harpy that those guys deserve. More to the story.

Anyway, these days I'm playing a lot (a lot), with the Pretenders thing a little, some more with some other old heavies like myself, but mostly (of course) by myself. 2 kids, a great girlfriend (who actually encourages me to practice!), and that same stupid job keep me from making any other moves, but the nice thing is that I've realized it doesn't really matter how many people are hearing me, as long as I can hear myself.

 

[mikeymike]

12 = the age most kids start playing their first guitar
18 = the age most kids start playing seriously
24 = the age most kids get married :shock:
30 = the age most kids start selling their gear and kicking it with the acoustic
36 = the age most kids can afford good gear and start sound-proofing part of their basement :twisted:

...back to sound-proofing the basement :mrgreen:

Hilarious. And is it an accident that the gaps are all 6's? :twisted:

It's kind of trippy that in the last couple of days we had that terrible thread about the guy whose soon-to-be-ex trashed his gear; and almost completely opposite is this rather frank and simple acknowledgment of how this whole aging thing screws around with us.

****, my story is so frigging long and complicated and, man, I'd just completed constructing a 12'x18' soundproofed and air-conditioned room in our dream house when the situation went all sideways and... well, there isn't room for the tale here. Suffice it to say that, boys, I think I really took one for the team last year for what it was worth. 13 years, down the tubes.

But anyway, gear & career. I'm glad to say that I kept my prized stuff after my "pro" career went down. I'll probably write a whole clause into my last will & testament about who gets my JCM800, and I hung onto my dream amp from childhood, that old Deluxe Reverb in my sig. None of my old working guitars 'cept that LP Special are really worth mentioning, but I kept them anyway. (Well, actually, I do still have my Gibson Sonex 180, autographed by Gang of Four from when we toured with them in the mid-90s)

I kept it all except for the backup/duplicate items (don't really need 2 JCMs, don't need 2 Sonexes). But for 4 years they collected major dust while my daughter grew up a little. Which was fine at the time, since I was pretty bitter about music anyway... until I realized I was slowly losing my mind.

It takes a certain amount of self-image readjustment for us former hard rockers to concede that, due to family and mortgages and the day job that you can almost admit you like, our best bet for getting semi-regular shows might involve playing the, cough cough, occasional cover. In my case I've managed to maintain an illusion of cool (for myself) by making it a Tribute Band, as opposed to a Cover Band: we only play Pretenders, and furthermore we only play songs from the first 2 1/2 albums. I AM James Honeyman Scott. And of course, that Marshall comes in very handy for this.

As does the Gold Top, something that I decided, upon turning 40, was something that I deserved. I knew it would look great on me, and I knew it was going to make me feel good. What I didn't know was what it was like to suddenly be in possession of a real guitar, a REAL one. It changes everything. All those years of playing the living sh!t out of crappy guitars just got put into the teeny perspective that it deserved. Dues, yes, lots, years of dues paid on high-output pups, baseball bat necks and bad tuning. It was like suddenly being given ears with which to hear one's own voice.

The timing of the purchase, however, apparently contributed to the abovementioned meltdown... which is strange, because I don't consider myself as having either been one of those guys who compulsively hurls his every paycheck at Guitar Center, or married to the kind of harpy that those guys deserve. More to the story.

Anyway, these days I'm playing a lot (a lot), with the Pretenders thing a little, some more with some other old heavies like myself, but mostly (of course) by myself. 2 kids, a great girlfriend (who actually encourages me to practice!), and that same stupid job keep me from making any other moves, but the nice thing is that I've realized it doesn't really matter how many people are hearing me, as long as I can hear myself.

Beautiful story man. It takes boldness to talk about your life to others perhaps as a learning experience that we can draw from.

 

[JW123]

Im with you guys.

Played in bands from the time I was 12-22. I quit when a good business deal came along. Started back playing at 27 eventually got a really good club cover band going that was in demand. Quit that at 35 and started racing dirt bikes with my son. Now 45, last year played 4 cover gigs with old bandmates. Now Im back recording original music, just because I feel like it. Not trying to be a rockstar or sell any of it, just creating music that I hear in my head.

I have accumulated a lot of gear over the years and fortunately have held on to all the stuff that meant anything. I think if you are a true musician that you can take a break but you cant really quit. Ive discovered that you dont have to have a band to play, just get whatever it takes to create your music. I would say make sure you get some sort of recordings or videos of what you are doing. Thru the years I didnt and wish I had.

Keep Rockin

 

[rvschulz]

I'm 47. My oldest is in college, middle son is graduating high school this year and my daughter is a sophomore. After spending a lifetime doing the Scoutmaster/Coach/Booster Club President thing ... i got sick. Not deathly ill, but a life changing thing.

Readjustment of priorities meant that I needed to do what makes me happy. Not that playing with my kids doesn't, but when they get to a certain age and temperament - they get independent and that's life too.

Hence, my rededication to rocking out. Of course, I get to be lues and jazz too now that I am older - it's cool ...

and my '74 LP is in my will ....

 

[kmanick]

I didn't realize so many people were in the same boat.
I'm in my early 40's and I started playing when I was 10, got into some cool bands in my teens, put together a real solid band when I was 19 gigged as much as possible until I was 23.
The band imploded , I lost my drummer (who was pretty much irreplacable) and sold all of gear, went back to college and pursued a "Normal" live.
fast forward to the year 2002.
Me and the Mrs (who has no knowledge that I ever played any instrument , never mind played in a metal band) drop in to a friends house for a B-B-Q.
The Husband has a white strat in his office, I ask him if he minds if I play it and all of a sudden after almost 20 years, all this music came pouring out of me.
Completely freaked out my wife and her friends :lol: .
Now 6 years later I try to consistently play for at least one hour a day.
It has become a great form of therapy and stress release for me and my skills have gone way above what they were when I quit the scene back in the early 80's.
My 6 year old daughter loves it and I've got her going on guitar and Piano.
Now there is always some form of music going on in my house.
Now I can finally also afford to pretty much buy almost any piece of gear I want (within reason of course) so there's been a pretty constant revolving door of guitars and amps coming in and out of my house.
I'm lucky that my wife is pretty cool with all the buying and selling of gear because she undrstands that I can always make my money back if I have to move something for an unexpected expense, and I don't run up huge Credit card bills to fuel my Gas.
Plus she loves the fact that her husband can "shred" :lol:
A term I'm not sure she completely understands.

 

[jab]

I'm 46, 3 kids, oldest in high school, busy career. I have had pretty much the same classic rock band for 27 years. 11 kids between everyone in the band, everyone with wives/careers. You just adjust. We rehearse maybe once every other week., gig probably one weekend a month at most. Works for everyone and we get our fill of rock n roll. Our children have especially enjoyed having cool dads that play in a band, and many kids have picked up instruments themselves. That's the greatest part of all.

Advice from this old man is never sell your guitars. I'm still kicking myself for selling a Carvin electric 15 years ago because I thought my rock n roll days were waning. Played in an "unplugged" acoustic rock band for 10 years, then started up again full electric. Those guitars will be your kids guitars, something they'd probably never be able to afford for the next 20 or 30 years themselves so keep them to use yourself until your 60 and pass them down.

 

[tunedown]

I'm 26 and I can't thank you guys enough for sharing your stories. I needed that. I'm in a tough place as I've reached the age where I'm supposed to get married, buy a house, settle down and start selling everything, but I haven't been playing since I was 18. I've been playing since I was 23 so my timeline's all screwed up

I have a full time job and a full time band. I'm on the fence between *buy a house, keep the job, and tour when I can get approved vacation, or *keep renting, keep the job 'til the band tours full time and hit the road while I'm still young(er then you).

 

[mikey383]

I'm only 28, but I've kinda went through that same thing. I started playing at 13, started playing in a serious band at 17, got married at 24, but I was divorced less than a year later . While I was going through the divorce, I sold a Dual Recto half stack, Marshall JMP-1 and Mesa 50/50 with a 2x12, two guitars, all my effects, all my recording gear - keeping only the acoustic and my Epi LP - thinking I would be satisfied just playing acoustic for fun.

Fast forward almost three years, and here I go again buying all new gear and getting into another band because the acoustic just wasn't cutting it.

...and my soon-to-be-wife loves it

 

[powerlord]

Early 40's here,our band used to open for most of the big name bands here in the midwest in the early 80's,I'll never forget talking with Dime about where we were going with our careers,I think I said I'll never give it up right along with him.20 years later,two girls in college and I've just come full circle again.We're doing the band thing,we all still look ok for the stage,so we are gonna make a run for a metal label again.I even grew the hair out again and I'm having a blast.

 

[Riff Blister]

This thread hits real close to home folks.
Check this out.
I’ve had guitars and pretty much jammed along with my stereo or an occasional buddy since I was about 12 years old. Right now I am 50. My kids have grown up and moved out. Wow! Anyway, I met up with some of my good buddies at our 25th class reunion. A drummer and a base player who both have played in bands most of there lives. Beer talk led to us getting together along with the drummer’s cousin (also on guitar) a few months afterwards to jam. The next thing you know I am in my first band at the tender age of 44! We are still together practicing once a week and gigging once a month. We even played at our 30th class reunion. I am having the time of my life and I hope we can keep it together for a while. My kids and there friends now in there mid 20’s come out to see us play and love it. My wife rarely misses a gig and graciously puts up with my almost nightly practicing. Why I waited this long to do this I’ll never know. I’ve been a rock and roll sponge as long as I can remember.
Tunedown by all means do not sell your stuff. Do not get married, buy a house or even settle down because some says you’re “supposed” to do these things at your age. Do these things when you feel you are ready. Follow your heart and don’t give up what you love to do.

 

[djw]

Aww, group hug everyone. Seriously, there appear to be some good lessons here.

The music industry is going through some real hard times now... and it so deeply, richly deserves every last bit of it. It commodifies the dreams of kids, steals their creativity and passion, and rewards them with basically nothing (unless they're some of the lucky very few). It takes all the fun out of playing music, makes you worry more about being cool. May it rot.

Looks like a lot of us are casualties of the old wringer, and have found out the hard way that playing music is more important to our souls than we realize. Growing up doesn't have to mean a cessation of bad-assedness (you just refine your bad-assedness). And maintaining your edge doesn't necessarily translate to self-arrested development. So...

Don't sell your stuff, or at least keep the best of what you can hang onto. Acoustics are great, but the electric guitar is a real, legitimate instrument to make music with.

One nice thing about gear is that it's generally a pretty decent investment, or at least better than blowing your money on gadgets. Know what that iphone or that laptop are going to be worth in 1-2 years? Zilch, zero, nada. You'll actually have to pay to get rid of it. Your MkIV or your Gibson, however, will probably retain 70-90% of its value, and maybe even go up.

But that's mostly just a good argument to pull out when trying to rationalize to a reluctant partner. It's irrelevant, because you won't actually be selling it, right? That is, unless you're still, erm, just trying to find your signature sound, ahem. :wink:

Most importantly: keep playing!

Ok, that's enough soapbox from me.

 

[mikey383]

Don't sell your stuff

I wish someone would have told me that a few years ago. Instead, my ex-wife was telling me she wouldn't divorce me if I did sell it all...but she did anyway.

I've known several guys who did the same thing, and a few years later they're back to doing music. When a woman tells you it's either her or the music, let her go, because that's just a facade for deeper seeded issues within the relationship - her love for you should be deeper than the hatred for your music. Music is something that will stay by your side, whatever mood you're in, however crappy it gets, and will never leave you unless you truly want it to.

 

[mikeymike]

Don't sell your stuff

I wish someone would have told me that a few years ago. Instead, my ex-wife was telling me she wouldn't divorce me if I did sell it all...but she did anyway.

I've known several guys who did the same thing, and a few years later they're back to doing music. When a woman tells you it's either her or the music, let her go, because that's just a facade for deeper seeded issues within the relationship - her love for you should be deeper than the hatred for your music. Music is something that will stay by your side, whatever mood you're in, however crappy it gets, and will never leave you unless you truly want it to.

Amen to that brother. lol

 

[cellardweller]

Don't sell your stuff

I wish someone would have told me that a few years ago. Instead, my ex-wife was telling me she wouldn't divorce me if I did sell it all...but she did anyway.

I've known several guys who did the same thing, and a few years later they're back to doing music. When a woman tells you it's either her or the music, let her go, because that's just a facade for deeper seeded issues within the relationship - her love for you should be deeper than the hatred for your music. Music is something that will stay by your side, whatever mood you're in, however crappy it gets, and will never leave you unless you truly want it to.

+1
Just had my divorce final in 12/07 from a cheating/music-hating demoness, then lost my job of 7.5 years, had a death in the family...etc... the most important thing is Don't sell your stuff

 

[mikeymike]

Hey Cellardweller, I listened to your songs on your myspace. Do you like or know who Acid Bath is? Your song 20 dark years sounds very Acid Bath-ish without all the death metal yelling.