What is the funniest thing a noob/beginner has said to you?

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A guy I know used to brag that his Boss multifx unit is completely digital, like it is something to brag about :lol:
 
Herbie the Rad Dorklift said:
An Ernie Ball rep told me a few weeks ago I can't have an EBMM John Petrucci BFR because they don't exist :?:
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My friend just got one of those, and gowddamn it's the sweetest guitar i've ever touched. a Tom Anderson used to be my dream axe till i played a BFR, now i drool over the EBMM website.

a former friend used to brag about the crushing tone of his GT8, apparently my Triaxis/2:90 and Dual Rec were no match.

and un-related to guitar playing, and waaaaaaay off topic, but a true "WTF?" moment. I had a dayjob with a boss who didn't like me becasue i was smarter than him and wouldn't ask him for help. so he would always be-little me and come down on me for no reason. well one day i'm assembling some parts for the product we made when in front of everyone in the department he says "be careful with that screwdriver! it's got a lot more torque than the other ones, and we don't neeed any broken screws". i think i stopped moving and just stared at him for about 30seconds.
 
Hey, be nice to the noobs! I'm sure I get more frustrated at them than most people, but they're usually just uneducated, not stupid. Shoot - I can think of some of the retarded stuff I said/believed in my even not-so-noob days! How embarrassing!

Anyhow...

That said - I've read some incredibly retarded noob nonsense on the Boogie Board Forum... ;)
 
i think the problem arises when a n00b shows astounding ignorance in the face of experience and defends that ignorance even going so far as to insult the more experienced player.

ignorance like that deserves to be called out and embarassed :lol: .

btw, some of these stories are great. even after 12 years of playing i'm still very much a n00b in many respects and i try to be very humble in my opinions and accept advice wherever i can get it.
 
a noob that though I was pretty knowledgeable asked what effects will get him that "fast heavy metal sound"?
 
When i was a senior in high school i convinced my friend that Mesa Boogie was the way. i showed him my dad's dc3 and he was sold. we were telling this other guitar player we knew in class about boogies and how awesome they sound. he said "dude just get an ampeg. they sound the same and they're way cheaper"
my friend and i looked at each other and started laughing :lol:

years ago right before i bought my dr, a friend of a friend said his jcm2000 was the best amp on the planet. "dude you gotta get this amp it rules!!" he would say.. so i showed up with my dad's dc3 thru my really old cruddy peavey 4x12 and blew his marshall outta the water.. and i never cranked it past 3 :twisted:
 
Not a guitar noob but at a fairly big blues/jam festival I was working at I saw a guy set up his laptop for recording and then I watch for about 2 minutes until the screensaver came on!!(ha, that should help your audio buffers)
 
I have 2 good ones that came about on the same day a couple weeks ago. I just left my band due to family/work commitments and a few guys i know wanted to jam, a drummer who is a good friend, a bss player whom i also know, and another guitar player that i met on this same day. The bass player told me that Marshall is better and that the Marshall AVT 150 was the marshall version of my DC-5. and the guitar player kept telling me his sound would be better than mine since he was playing direct into a QSC power amp through two PA speakers cuz he could put the speakers on both sides of the room. my rig is back home now LOL
 
Sixstringpsycho said:
I have 2 good ones that came about on the same day a couple weeks ago. I just left my band due to family/work commitments and a few guys i know wanted to jam, a drummer who is a good friend, a bss player whom i also know, and another guitar player that i met on this same day. The bass player told me that Marshall is better and that the Marshall AVT 150 was the marshall version of my DC-5. and the guitar player kept telling me his sound would be better than mine since he was playing direct into a QSC power amp through two PA speakers cuz he could put the speakers on both sides of the room. my rig is back home now LOL
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A few months ago I booked a gig with a band I've never played with before (needed a band at the last minute and these were the only guys available). The one guitarist played a Fender combo of some sort through a Marshall 4x12 cabinet, and told me it sounded amazing. Said he was saving up to buy a Marshall AVT because "they are the best amps made".

I later found out that the Marshall cabinet didn't have any speakers in it.
 
i asked so many stupid questions when i was young to a local music store employee... i still feel a little embarassed when i go there... :oops:
 
I did some load-in/out work for Styx when they were in town. They had a WALL of false cabinets that they used as changing rooms.
 
well I have a couple...

My girlfriends mom came over and she likes to try to talk music with me because she was a hippy in the 60's and went to a bunch of classic rock concerts.

whenever referring to an acoustic guitar it's always "acoustical" or a classical guitar is "classic"

Also yesterday I showed her my new Ibanez Xiphos and she said, "oh it looks just like a fender" I was like, "Actually it looks nothing like any fender"

One time in highschool I wanted to get a job at the local guitar store. It was just a local mom and pop type place. I asked the owner if they needed any help and that I was willing to work. He said no we just hired her over there (pointing to a girl across the room) I walked around the store for a little and the phone rang and she picked up. I could hear the conversation. The person asked if they had any strats with humbuckers. She walks over to the guitars and looks for a second and says "what's a humbucker?" So the guy on the phone explains it to her and she says, "oh here's one I think...it's a uh Ricky Sambora strat"

Also this doesn't have much to do with a guitar noob as a music noob. Remember back when Santana came out with "Smooth" and got really popular again. Well I was eating lunch with this girl and she said, "I really like that Santa Anna song" I corrected her. I said, "it's Santana. Santa Anna was the guy we fought against in the Spanish American War." She said, "Oh well anyway, I like his singing voice."

Oh just thought of another one. If you ever have been in Lynchburg Virginia at Lynchburg music you will realize that their sales staff are some of the stupidest people ever. My buddy wanted to try a delay pedal so the guy hooked it up for him and he was telling us about all the cool features of the pedal and he said that this delay pedal could do something that no other delay pedal every can do. He grabbed the time knob and started turning it as he was playing, you know making all the warpy sounds. Apparently he didn't know that almost every delay in the world makes that noise.

Oh also when people find out that I play guitar. They ask if I can play electric guitar and acoustic guitar. sometimes I just want to answer and say "no I can play one but not the other"
 
these are great stories. i am reminded of something i said back in highschool once.

i had just started out and all my dad played were two teles and his old les paul. so i was heavily fender/gibson biased. so one day at school two of my buddies (one was quite knowledgeable, the other wasnt) and myself were talking about guitars and they mention ibanez. and all i had seen of ibanez was the gio strat style beginner pack a kid i knew had. so i said, with some confidence, "i hate ibanez. they just make fender copies."


yea....now i have an RG and an S series haha.

i used to think dual rectos were the way to go hands down for any type of music because they are the best amps ever. now i know better.

i used to always put the gain on 8 or 9 on the highest gain mode of my amp because i though more gain sounded way better. then i actually heard it recorded. and learned how to turn the presence knob down.




one thing that bugs me is the common belief that a good player can play on anything....and usually that means having to play on a crappy 80 dollar acoustic with action that you need a clamp to fret.
 
one thing that bugs me is the common belief that a good player can play on anything....and usually that means having to play on a crappy 80 dollar acoustic with action that you need a clamp to fret.
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This is so true. :D

But of course i can play on anything :lol:
 
When I ordered my Mark III, every musician (not just beginners) I knew, told me that it was a stupid move. Everybody said that Boogies have great sound but they always have major problems with power supply soon after you start to use it. My 1988 Mark III has been reliable of course.

My Boss CE-2 Analog Chorus pedal is even older. When my band mate bought Digital Roland synthesizer, it had the chorus effect of course. He told me that Boss effects are actually Roland effects and that the syntesizer's chorus sounds quite the same as my pedal. So I connected that pedal between the synthesizer and a mixer and told him to try. He agreed that the CE-2 sounded much better.

A keyboard player I know said in 1983 that great guitarists don't use guitar effects. Well he didn't know much about Hendrix, Clapton, Page, Gilmour, Kaukonen and Beck. That comment came after I told him that I'm going to test my friend's flanger pedal.

When I was jamming with musicians I knew, one multi-instrumentlist said "Hey, that's a good old Mesa". I told him that it's a almost brand new, about six months old. And he replied "Does the company still exist". It was 1989.

I have this smart cousin. She's smarter than me but she doesn't know much about music or instruments. She hasn't even tried to play some instrument. When I told her that I will spend lots of money to buy an amp that's good enough for highly paid professionals, she replid something like this: "The development in digital technologies will soon make that thing useless".
 

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