RETURN OF THE DRUMMER

[fishyfishfish]

I posted earlier about how I had to give my best friend (Drummer) and his crazy wife some time off. We have played about five gigs with back up drummers and although it was sometimes rough, I had a blast playing music without a bunch of drama. I had a meeting with the dude to let him know we would like to use HIM for a pretty big gig coming up, but under no circumstances was I going to use his wife as a back up singer. Dealing with her is like puling a band aid off your crotch. She shows up late, will not learn her harmony parts, and cries when anyone tells her she is off key. I was going to let her go last year, but she hooked up with drummer and basically wined her way through the last year. My question is should I be asking him back? I am not good being PC, don't care about their un-happy home life, just want to play my guitar. I also have two other drummers that want the gig, but I don't think they could learn our whole set for this gig. Whatcha all think? Back for the big gig? Back for good? or send him and crazy pants down the road forever. Fish.....

 

[SteveO]

My old band gave our original drummer the boot after he got into meth and became unreliable. If you can't work with someone, you really have to move on. We were a house band, so we were working four nights a week every week, and needed someone who would be there every night and give 100%.

 

[fjk1138]

I realize I am a month late in seeing this, and am interested to know what happened (assuming the gig is over) but...

My equally Un-PC advice --

1. Hire him for the gig only, and make it clear to him it's because of the wife.
2. In the meantime, rehearse with the other two potential drummers and pick the best one for future gigs.

If he won't play without her, have Mrs Offpitch sing through a pitch corrector.

By the way...have you ever recorded the group and played her vocals back to her? As they used to say - "The tape doesn't lie".

Good luck.

 

[fishyfishfish]

Thanks for replies.
All of the episodes are over, talked with everyone and laid it out for everyone, and again still doesn't sink in that you have to learn the music that you will be playing. Oh, and show up. We will be going our separate ways and I still will be playing, just not with people that want to do some form of abstract-Jazz-Ono-Guitar Center when school lets out-type of group. Just glad that this didn't happen twenty years ago, I would have been really bitter.

 

[toneguy86]

Thanks for replies.
All of the episodes are over, talked with everyone and laid it out for everyone, and again still doesn't sink in that you have to learn the music that you will be playing. Oh, and show up. We will be going our separate ways and I still will be playing, just not with people that want to do some form of abstract-Jazz-Ono-Guitar Center when school lets out-type of group. Just glad that this didn't happen twenty years ago, I would have been really bitter.

Man I feel for ya...been there. I just got rid of a singer that just couldn't cut in at all in any respect. She his a "nice voice" but a knowlege of music 1/8" deep and a mile wide--no depth, no focus, no heart, irritating personality traits, controlling as hell and equally lacking in real talent..but thought she was God's gift (ya get the picture). I have been through other situations in the past...at one point a situation similar to yours that ended a band.

My wife and I (she's a bass player) simply have decided that being dependent on anyone for any reason is not worth it. Firing our singer did cost us some gigs (she knew a LOT of people and many people think she is a wonderful person and singer...wew!). In the past I put up with unbelievable other horse crap because I was afraid I couldn't replace someone in this relatively rural area (not true it turned out...but a lesson learned only after much agony). The truth is that we don't move on because of fear and dependency...and also possibly because we underestimate our own talent and capabilities. We can learn to sing (seriously...it can be done) and it is amazing how close the real best fit for a drummer or other critical member might be. I know for a fact that because I was slow on the stick, I lost opportunities to add some real talented individuals. We pay a price when we don't follow our guts...eh?

Mark

 

[fishyfishfish]

I guess that the main thing I learned is to put the brakes on at the first sign of trouble, and if your the leader of a band, if your not happy, it is not worth doing. Chalk it up to a life experience. Kind of like welding wearing sneakers, or full contact karate without a cup. I was used to normal musician problems (Like selling gear for dope, sleeping with ex girlfriends, fist fights, and lots of booze). This Dr. Phil stuff kills me.
We did get to use some studio people for a really big gig we had, and what an eye opener. Like eating a $100.00 steak dinner compared to the dollar menu. Back to the drawing board.

 

[MesaGod666]

Honestly, I have never worked with a good group of musicians that were also reliable. Get rid of him and don't look back.