Has anybody ever moved away from everything you have, etc.

[phyrexia]

Condensed version of the last five years of my life:
-Did crappy in college, halfway through but not taking classes now
-Mom died in July of '03
-Dad moved 800 miles away with his new girlfriend
-I live by myself now

It's not that I don't like Birmingham, but I've never really had the urge to move. I don't particularly like change a whole lot. But I wonder what it'd be like to just say "**** it" and move somewhere else.

 

[Russ]

I did that a few times. I left LA, CA to move to SD, CA. I left the west coast and went to the east coast. I left the east coast and came back to the west coast. I left SD, CA to move to LA, CA. I left LA, CA to move to SD, CA. This all happened over the course of 20 years. It happens for whatever reason.

 

[fredster]

I have lived in many different places and moved many many times. There is nothing quite like watching a place fade out in your rear view mirror. One chapter ends, another begins, it's all about the journey. You can do that when you're young - whittle down your life to a trunk load and go see what happens somewhere else. That gets more difficult as the years sneak up.

Besides, if you have any real music industry aspirations you have to be where that stuff happens. Which is probably not Birmingham...

 

[ThunderMonkey]

Sorry to hear about your Mom but these kinds of things do make you wonder.

I moved from Raleigh, NC (grew up with music scene) to near Rochester, NY after the breakup of a LTR. It was time to go, things had changed, some friend alliances were shifted and I just had to go. Fell in love with this girl who plays metal guitar in a doom band and moved my happy ass up to Nue Yawk with a swiftness.
I tried to make it work as best I could but it always came down to this:

What am I contributing to the positive forward momentum of my life and career?
And is what I'm doing good for me?

If you don't feel you need to move, don't, but if you want to try moving somewhere for a change, for experience, go for it !

Your true friends will always be there if you decide to go back.

I moved back this past Dec. and I'm glad I did. Always searching !!!!

 

[Russ]

Your true friends will always be there if you decide to go back.

Most of my friends moved on. I was able to keep in touch with a few even if it took a while actively searching for them and finding them again. Some will never move though. I do have a friend that has been in the same apartment for decades. The greatest thing is that your true friends will always be your friends even with long periods of absense.

 

[Charlie]

Finish college if you can swing it - even if you can get a 2 year degree it will probably help in the long run.

I grew up in New Jersey and close to 8 years ago I decided to throw what belongings I had in the back of my car and drive 3,000 miles to San Francisco with aspirations of breaking into the video game industry and possibly doing somethng with music as well. There weren't any video game companies in New Jersey and every time I sent my resume/portfolio to a company that was out of state (usually in CA) it was met with the standard rejection printed on a 6x9 postcard. 'Thank you for your submission but blah blah blah'

I moved without knowing anyone and I had never even visited here before the move. I ended up getting a job in the video game industry, worked for a couple of different places and then landed a gig at Blizzard North for a few years and now I'm at an offshoot of that company. All in all.. I've done pretty well for myself.

Obviously none of this would have happened if I stayed in Jersey I'd probably be pumping gas and freezing my a@@ off in the winter. Point is if you want to make a move to better your life you should go ahead and do it. Different areas of the country (and the world) are going to offer better opportunites then what (I'm assuming) are available to you where you are at.

And here's a question for you:

Is it that you don't like change or are you afraid of it? There's a big difference.

I'm really sorry to hear about your Mom and that your Dad moved away that has got to be some difficult #&@# to deal with.

 

[Platypus]

Hah I've done that.

I absolutely hated the home town I came from and most of the close-minded backwoods people I encountered there. I've lived 5 different places in the last 6 years w/ various roommates and by myself. I decided that I wanted to get out of there at all costs so I busted my ass and got a badass degree that could get me a job wherever I wanted and up and moved to Chicago to take a job. I knew absolutely no one here when I came and now I have a pretty decent group of social acquaintences.

There are probably about 2 or 3 people I still keep in touch with, don't care about the rest.

My best advice for you is to get a degree.. finish your school and get out of there... life is all about taking risks. Not to say AL isn't a good place to live but there's so much more out there to try.

 

[Brewski]

Hah I've done that.

I absolutely hated the home town I came from and most of the close-minded backwoods people I encountered there...

Yep, pretty close to my story. I knew ever since I was 5 years old that I wanted to end up in California. I was working in Minneapolis, and went out west on vacation. Within a week of being here, I found that I could transfer with the company that I worked for and found a place to stay. I went back, packed everything that I could fit in my little 1/4 ton truck, including a motorcycle, and went west. It was a tough at first, with no friends, different way of life, and living hand to mouth, but it got better as it went on. If I had to go back and live where I grew up, it would be under extreme duress. There are no heart strings tugging at me to go back.

I didn't get the degree though. Yeah, get the degree if you can. Not getting one is probably, my biggest mistake. 20 years of experience in an industry, and am now finding my options in that field are limited.

If I hadn't taken a chance, though, it would've sucked to have just stayed there and stagnated.

 

[eltrain858]

i grew up in san diego. when i was 17 i picked up and moved to cleveland, ohio to go to college. i ended up moving back to san diego as soon as i got my degree, but some of my best friends and best memories were gained from that experience. part of it is just the process of setting up a new life somewhere else, figuring out what it takes for you to be happy with your situation.

i would agree about trying to finish up a degree before moving unless you can transfer all your credits and have a lot of discipline to finish up in the new place. it could be pretty distracting if you move somewhere interesting.

 

[Charlie]

LOL

Seems like everybody that moves from the west coast to the east coast ALWAYS ends up moving back.

Hmmmmm...... I have NO idea why!

:wink:

 

[lockbody]

My best advice for you is to get a degree.. finish your school and get out of there... life is all about taking risks. Not to say AL isn't a good place to live but there's so much more out there to try.

As someone who's lived in Birmingham almost all 42 years of his life, except for one year in Mobile, I couldn't give you better advice than this.

Birmingham is a nice enough little city, but everytime I go to Atlanta I get reminded that "that" is a real city... with stuff to do... places to go... good concerts... good radio stations... local government that actually does something... you get the picture (Of course, they have real traffic, too!). I'm not saying that ATL is the best place to live in the world, but remember that until the 60's B'ham and ATL were about the same size. Sister cities. They're just a convienient example.

I'm not sure B'ham can ever escape the 60's.

Me? I was afraid of change. Still am I guess. But now I'm older with a decent job, family, studio in the basement, etc... Too much trouble to pack up and leave now.

You're what... mid-twenties? Feh. You've seen everything Birmingham has to offer already. Get your degree and get out. Then read about Birmingham's inability to escape the civil rights era and it's ineffectual local government in your local newspaper and try to remind yourself what kept you there so long.

 

[phyrexia]

Excellent thoughts guys. I'm gonna mull over some things and get back to you.

 

[disassembled]

Let's see....18 years in Philadelphia.....the past 5 years I have lived in 3 different countries and 3 different states. This was made possible by me joining the military after completing 1 semester of college and realizing "that **** is expensive" and that I can't afford to go through 4 years of college on my own dime.

I got out of the house at 18 and I am going to school for free. It's not the best route for some but if you're in a rut it's a good thing to do (in my eyes) as a person. I have lived in GA (i am here for the next few months),AZ, Kuwait, and Japan (for the last year and a half). Coming from Philadelphia, Arizona was a bit of culture shock due to the town I lived in but GA and Japan are quite nice. I believe I have a better grip on the future so I can get that EE degree without a problem.

I didn't join the military because I had to but because I wanted to challenge myself and see some change. My buddies back home are still doing the same things they were when I left 5 years ago. I don't plan to be a lifer but a good 7-8 years in should leave me well off enough to finish my education and then start a career. Hey, so I will be a little older than most folks starting out but I won't have the debts that most students have and I might even be ready to buy a house as well (always a big dream of mine). I also get the VA benefits when I get out as well as the GI bill to complete my schooling.

I have made some good friends in the military and did a lot of maturing during the past 5 years. I believe it was a necessary step in life for me and I definitely don't forsee me regretting doing it in the future.

Greg

 

[clutch71]

Excellent thoughts guys. I'm gonna mull over some things and get back to you.

As you mull things over, envision what you want, don't dwell on the past. 85% of people come from disfunctional back grounds; not saying yours was, but move past the things that have affected you for the last 5 years.

No matter where you go you'll always have youself for company. It's important that you are first happy with yourself. To avoid the negativity you've experienced think only of positive side of any situation. Put ideas down on paper of the things that you want or want to do with your life.

Start with a couple easy achievable goals but put some things that would really make you happy. I started doing this a couple of months ago and it's amazing some of the things that have happened. If you need any truth or validation of this look at my signature and in the is a Mesa. That was one of em

Keep your chin up man, you'll be OK.

Best of luck

 

[Guitarzan]

Before I owned my DR's I thought L6 was the coolest. Until I got bit by the MESA bug. Been infected ever since.